i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
