it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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