no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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