If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
