My hand turned me down
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
