i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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