What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.