Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.