my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me