Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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