He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
