That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
