white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
