I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
