We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
