Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
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I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
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He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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