Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Even my vagina gasped.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
