Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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