Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
