So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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