wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
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he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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