Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
it's not cheating when I paid for it
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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