I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
