mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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