i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Randomize
