doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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