new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
