Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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