i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
