worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
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