Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
