Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
