maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
