Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
