shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
