I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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