# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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