no, he came in my armpit
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I deserve this hangover.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
