Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
