my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
