She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
