apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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