I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
