I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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