I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
