I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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