Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
