Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
