My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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