I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
