Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
