recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
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hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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