Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
