hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So here I am, sexting at work.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
