I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
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Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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