It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
