Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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