we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Randomize
