My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
