You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
