While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
