He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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