this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
