So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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