They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
