I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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