So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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