i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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